Katy Cousino

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Q: Is GIRDLEBABY a girl?
A: GIRDLEBABY leaks monstrous menses
from time 2 time– time after time.
She cries to Cyndi Lauper but main-
tains Kid Rock testicles. U tell me.

Q: Does GIRDLEBABY poop?
A: GIRDLEBABY is both figural
Feces & consumption
of fecal figure. Next question.

A: Even humans are inhuman.



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GIRDLEMOMMA is prepared for the initial womb-shed;
she commissioned a gold-plated girdle from the local
Girdlesmith shop long ago, where her womb was first implanted.
She paid in winks & booty pops, when currency wasn’t all blowjob.

GIRDLEMOMMA: My sweet monster, today you are girl.
GIRDLEBABY: I don’t want to read Jane Eyre.
GIRDLEMOMMA: Gold & blood rly become you.

There is a knock on the door. In the kitchen GIRDLEBABY stands nude;
clumps of yellow blood leave her. The fridge door is open
& so is the golden girdle; w/o grease
GIRDLEBABY will not fit.
The Humanoids barge in.

Humanoid #1: congratz on yr girlhood, pork beast
Humanoid #2: some overw8 bodies never bleed
Humanoid #1: we brought a vat of butter for you to slide thru, yw

GIRDLEBABY thighyams vibrate, begin to discolor;
they are mustard w/the everfloe of lard.

GIRDLEBABY: I will deplete if this keeps up.

GIRDLEMOMMA enters the kitchen, appalled
by the Humanoid faces. She kicks them out,
keeping the Cuntry Cock butter. Her baby-girdle
is up to cankles in organ-ooze.

GIRDLEMOMMA: I will now lather you.

The contraption holds GIRDLEBABY like a shelled slug.
Her rupture sits sweetly a block atop her pel-vi bones.

GIRDLEBABY grunts w/each waddled step.
Loose innards are solidified by the ruthless girdle.

GIRDLEMOMMA: Have fun at school, my golden princess!



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GIRDLEBABY is thumbing thru the ancient
cosmos of Vogue. A blonde humanoid once humanish is displayed
in spectacular body part: 4 red lip & 2 white leg.
7 males crouch around her in gangbang formation.
The photo female is prey; a pulpy vacancy
levitates between her parallel white legs.

GIRDLEBABY, to herself: Is this what phallus hunts?

Her oval fingers fumble madly along inside the magazine.
It reads:


GIRDLEBABY looks down at her own 8 legs
erupted along the room.
Her outward corpuscles swallow
every remnant of donut
& tear. She jiggles her thighyams.

GIRDLEBABY: I am haunted.

GIRDLEBABY wobbles to the kitchen. She chooses the fillet,
left on the counter & stabbed thru a swordfish.
The tool is both flexible & precise, she thinks,
wiping its fish-crud between her wristfolds.

GIRDLEBABY, whispering to foreign femurs: I will dig to you.

(Digging sequence :
very gory w/lotso
yellow blood cackling &
bone exposure madness)

Satisfied, she flaps her gutted thighskin over the other,
performing the crossed leg.

GIRDLEBABY, yearnburning: Do you sense my vacancy?



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GIRDLEMOMMA struts down ice cream aisle.
Dairy cows slam their hooves against the glass
doors, cream-screaming. Having never seen a dairy cow’s
GIRDLEMOMMA takes a SnapChat &
transfers cow Oxygen to

At home GIRDLEBABY’s phone flashes on the curve
of her clawfoot tub; a puff of air emits in2
the loose breath of
On the opposite curve-edge is a sharp whale-slice knife.
She blows away the cow air; she wants to be ready.

GIRDLEBABY: I want to be ready.

The clawfoot tub is filled to brim w/melted fudgesicle.
GIRDLEBABY lays w/o motion,
taking in the chocoblood aroma.
Her spyder-vein ass will bleed out the most, she thinks,
as the loose phalanges massage her fat folds,
plump w/eager blood.

At the grocery store GIRDLEMOMMA takes a selfie
w/the lobster tank & sends it to
She captions the photo:


GIRDLEBABY picks up the blubber slicer & pushes it to her
teets. Suddenly Kid Rock’s “Bawitdaba” blares from her phone;
it is
GIRDLEMOMMA’s selfie, lobster squeal permeated
into Kid Rock howls. She smiles, remembering prom.

GIRDLEBABY rises from the clawfoot tub. The bottom-suck
phalanges continue to grasp for her ass. She drips w/chocosugar,
spinspraying the white walls brown. Her hand gestures are dramatic.

GIRDLEBABY, rapping: Diggy, said the boogy, said up jump the boogy!

Having seen the posters for GIRDLEBABY’s demise,
Humanoids exist outside of the home. They have waited for the past hour.

Humanoid #1: what is fat but being suicide?
Humanoid #2: clogged artery bloodshed
Humanoid #1: nothing’s happening, let’s go get a fudgesicle



KATY COUSINO is an MFA candidate at the University of Notre Dame. Her interests include the horror genre, fat politics, and My Little Pony. THE GIRDLES is an ongoing project taking over Katy’s world in a lovely, suffocating kind of way. Another excerpt of this verse play can be found at SEVEN CORNERS.